Ahora en Ingles

I don't usually write in English because I don't have idea about the language and I don't want to use a translator (it makes me laugh because it looks like I used a translator to write this):

1.-Everyday I die a little, day by day,this little death is becoming in my past, in my memories, this little death in my life is taking so much, and I don't do anything to stop this shit. Am I full of emptyness or empty of all?, everyday I die a little, but today I die more than only a little.

2.-We are two souls doomed to try to exist without reasons, sorry, a mistake, I am the only doomed to exist without reasons, doomed to blacken the cursed sun, to swallow the loneliness, under the waves where the morning never comes, a plague of butterflies in my heart, force me to cry blood, I curse the love for you, I curse myself, this is the way as I dope my soul with your absence. (none of this is consistent) (I used titles of songs to write this paragraph).

I want to write a lot of words full of sorrow, but I can't.